Once again I am on bed rest... after all the crazy days behind and all the catching up and cleaning after the hurricane, I think I overdid it! I went into early labor, but fortunately, it was stopped. I have been able to hold on a bit more to ensure the baby comes safe and in more appropriate time. I am still couple weeks away to meet my dateline, so here I am resting, preparing, and opening space for our littlest blessing as best as I can.
Opening space for this little one is a work of love and patience, you may think that after having 4 already I have it all figure it out... maybe in the general preparations, I have learned a few tips here and there, but to be honest, each birth has its own set of adjustments for the entire family. Adjustments not only related to the physical space in the home and time but also in everyone's heart.
Opening space for this little one is a work of love and patience, you may think that after having 4 already I have it all figure it out... maybe in the general preparations, I have learned a few tips here and there, but to be honest, each birth has its own set of adjustments for the entire family. Adjustments not only related to the physical space in the home and time but also in everyone's heart.
Having a large family anymore is seeing and harshly judged by outsiders as irresponsible and careless, is looked down to a burden and merely recognized as a gift. But I can assure you it is completely the opposite. Fear to open space is without a doubt the main factor of this kind of thinking, I know, I have been there too. I have to admit that being open to life and a large family is risky and a bit controversial, but very inside of me, there is a rebel that loves to swim against the current just to prove it wrong!
My large family is far from being an irresponsible choice, I think nowadays is important not to live alone, and foster values like generosity and self-donation to a society that craves warmth and depth. Also as we grow so does our consciousness in managing the resources for every member, we stretch and adjust to a simple living filled more with values than things. Each of us is growing mindful of the other's needs, we are expanding our circle of compassion and learning to serve one another. We are aware once more to donate ourselves and to receive not a burden but a beautiful gift.
Welcoming another baby for sure is a big stretch for a mom's heart, I have to use prayer, it is the only way to become conscious of everyone's needs above my own, but not to worry! mom's heart is made to stretch that far and more! 5 kids and a husband far! My kids all need time and one on one moments. But how to get them all? well... I stumble miserably on this daily. It is hard. I run wild between my own hormonal craze, a toddler, pre-teen, a hyper boy and a quiet little girl hard to read. Now you may say whoa! that is a lot of psychology behind, what a drag! yes! It can be... but it is not so much when you love! It takes you places for sure, but it always centers you to give.
So what are those needs my bunch asks of me? Well to begin, Reassurance: it doesn't matter if I assume my oldest girls already know I love them because they have been there already couple of times, or my boy seems to agree that it's going to be OK, they need to hear clear and individually that they are cherished and that even though they are older they still melt their parent's heart with a kiss or a long hug. I have noticed they are trying to keep up with the pace of it all, but they seem at times distant, like thinking distant, here is when I know I have to talk to them and search their hearts. Dialogue is essential in any relationship and hearing from mom and dad that they still hold their spot in our hearts is all they need even if they don't say it out loud.
Recognition: everyone in this household has been working hard in serving each other, during this time; we, the parents provide and serve as our duty to our family... but also have the kids! I cannot express how much help they are to me when dad is not around, from chores to make sure I keep my medications in check to endure my emotional ups and downs. Thanks to the advice of a dear friend we began our own "wall of fame" to recognize and celebrate everyone's effort. I wish I had thought of it sooner, it is a great initiative to ensure the kids we don't take them for granted!
Thanks to dialogue, I have discovered that unconsciously as things get busy with homeschool and chores I have lost love language: sadly yes, my oldest 3 and I at times only speak school, chores, faith or life, but I forget to show them affection as a result of routine and exhaustion😢and it breaks my heart to see it now. So this time before the baby arrives we need lots of cuddling, hugs, and kisses; small things like braiding each other's hair or cuddling during a read out loud can show closeness. It is amazing to see all our worries and tension go away with just this little token of affection.
As the time gets closer I cannot help but notice, how they all want attention all in different ways but attention after all. Girls want to be heard, my boy wants to be part of something together and the toddler seems to sense the change as well so as you can imagine she displays even more demand! Here you may hear a prayer in the background... yes! I don't know at times how to divide and assertively give each one what they need. My plan? take it day by day and one thing at the time! I don't have to take care of everyone at once. Some days the girls seem to crave the attention, so I dedicate part of my time to them and listen to their stories or letting chat their hearts outs before bed on our one on one. Other times is my boy that wants to be noticed and I have to make a priority his space and build together something or shoot targets from the sofa with nerf guns just to validate his coolness! Obviously, every day the baby is in the spotlight with her new milestones, so she is the easiest to read, no one can resist her cuteness!
By now I stretched at full capacity my attention for the kids, now remains... dad and why not... me! what are our needs? To begin I must say we share the same needs as the kids, we need to be validated, recognized, loved and cared for. My husband and I notice the rollercoaster ride and try to keep close, with little things such as a text or call in the morning, a special breakfast or dinner, we hold hands and cuddle; we need to foster the love and admiration for each other in order to give that to our children. We are without a doubt their example and guide in how to handle life as it comes, so is imperative to be filled with graciousness and thoughtfulness in order to enrich the atmosphere of our home above any external pressure.
And because one cannot pour life or love into another when our own cup is empty, I need to concentrate on my own wellbeing first and foremost in order to be emotionally available for all of them. I have to say that my number one priority for sure is to take time to reflect and pray so I can collect all my emotions and thoughts and put them in perspective to later offer love, serenity, and understanding to my family. As well, time for self-care is very important so I can feel my best and bring them joy and enthusiasm. Lastly, I need time to feel and talk to my baby in the womb, to prepare and transmit all the love and hope we have for him.
It has been crucial to open these opportunities for each one of us; as I mentioned before, is a work in the midst of chaos, is a work of radical love and patience, is a donation of our time will and heart for each other. We discovered how love can be found in the little and the big, how creative and persistent we need to be, in order to accept wholeheartedly this beautiful gift of being a family.
Now that everyone's cup is taking care of and the space in our hearts is wide open with joy and hope for his arrival, we must get to the practical preparations! crib ready, clothes laid out, supplies and plan in place for how we are going to manage hospital days and life at home after the arrival. In this final step, I have already the help of many friends and family ready to step in for us all. They have come up with precooked meals and offered help and assistance while I endure bedrest. Now, more than ever I see fit the common saying "it takes a village" it really does! we could not do this alone, God is providing He always does, either with people or circumstances, He is making sure, we know He is there on every face, on every occasion, on every prayer is been lifted, as long as we let Him in, He will not forsake. So please spare a prayer for us, as we are very close! thanks for following our journey!
Our little boy is ready to join our family any minute now and we are very excited to welcome him! We are about to be a family of 7!
So what are those needs my bunch asks of me? Well to begin, Reassurance: it doesn't matter if I assume my oldest girls already know I love them because they have been there already couple of times, or my boy seems to agree that it's going to be OK, they need to hear clear and individually that they are cherished and that even though they are older they still melt their parent's heart with a kiss or a long hug. I have noticed they are trying to keep up with the pace of it all, but they seem at times distant, like thinking distant, here is when I know I have to talk to them and search their hearts. Dialogue is essential in any relationship and hearing from mom and dad that they still hold their spot in our hearts is all they need even if they don't say it out loud.
Recognition: everyone in this household has been working hard in serving each other, during this time; we, the parents provide and serve as our duty to our family... but also have the kids! I cannot express how much help they are to me when dad is not around, from chores to make sure I keep my medications in check to endure my emotional ups and downs. Thanks to the advice of a dear friend we began our own "wall of fame" to recognize and celebrate everyone's effort. I wish I had thought of it sooner, it is a great initiative to ensure the kids we don't take them for granted!
Thanks to dialogue, I have discovered that unconsciously as things get busy with homeschool and chores I have lost love language: sadly yes, my oldest 3 and I at times only speak school, chores, faith or life, but I forget to show them affection as a result of routine and exhaustion😢and it breaks my heart to see it now. So this time before the baby arrives we need lots of cuddling, hugs, and kisses; small things like braiding each other's hair or cuddling during a read out loud can show closeness. It is amazing to see all our worries and tension go away with just this little token of affection.
As the time gets closer I cannot help but notice, how they all want attention all in different ways but attention after all. Girls want to be heard, my boy wants to be part of something together and the toddler seems to sense the change as well so as you can imagine she displays even more demand! Here you may hear a prayer in the background... yes! I don't know at times how to divide and assertively give each one what they need. My plan? take it day by day and one thing at the time! I don't have to take care of everyone at once. Some days the girls seem to crave the attention, so I dedicate part of my time to them and listen to their stories or letting chat their hearts outs before bed on our one on one. Other times is my boy that wants to be noticed and I have to make a priority his space and build together something or shoot targets from the sofa with nerf guns just to validate his coolness! Obviously, every day the baby is in the spotlight with her new milestones, so she is the easiest to read, no one can resist her cuteness!
By now I stretched at full capacity my attention for the kids, now remains... dad and why not... me! what are our needs? To begin I must say we share the same needs as the kids, we need to be validated, recognized, loved and cared for. My husband and I notice the rollercoaster ride and try to keep close, with little things such as a text or call in the morning, a special breakfast or dinner, we hold hands and cuddle; we need to foster the love and admiration for each other in order to give that to our children. We are without a doubt their example and guide in how to handle life as it comes, so is imperative to be filled with graciousness and thoughtfulness in order to enrich the atmosphere of our home above any external pressure.
And because one cannot pour life or love into another when our own cup is empty, I need to concentrate on my own wellbeing first and foremost in order to be emotionally available for all of them. I have to say that my number one priority for sure is to take time to reflect and pray so I can collect all my emotions and thoughts and put them in perspective to later offer love, serenity, and understanding to my family. As well, time for self-care is very important so I can feel my best and bring them joy and enthusiasm. Lastly, I need time to feel and talk to my baby in the womb, to prepare and transmit all the love and hope we have for him.
It has been crucial to open these opportunities for each one of us; as I mentioned before, is a work in the midst of chaos, is a work of radical love and patience, is a donation of our time will and heart for each other. We discovered how love can be found in the little and the big, how creative and persistent we need to be, in order to accept wholeheartedly this beautiful gift of being a family.
Now that everyone's cup is taking care of and the space in our hearts is wide open with joy and hope for his arrival, we must get to the practical preparations! crib ready, clothes laid out, supplies and plan in place for how we are going to manage hospital days and life at home after the arrival. In this final step, I have already the help of many friends and family ready to step in for us all. They have come up with precooked meals and offered help and assistance while I endure bedrest. Now, more than ever I see fit the common saying "it takes a village" it really does! we could not do this alone, God is providing He always does, either with people or circumstances, He is making sure, we know He is there on every face, on every occasion, on every prayer is been lifted, as long as we let Him in, He will not forsake. So please spare a prayer for us, as we are very close! thanks for following our journey!
Our little boy is ready to join our family any minute now and we are very excited to welcome him! We are about to be a family of 7!
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