Craving solitude in the midst of "busy"

Busy, busy, busy! That's how our times are outlined anymore. Aren't they? We have become an energetic, driven, fast paced generation that have found its worth in productivity and level of success. We basically are making "busyness" the newest idol and we are placing it in the highest altars of our priorities; but the question remains... Is it bearing fruit? Is it achieving our longing pursuit of happiness? Is it really worth it?
Or is it instead interfering with our families, self-esteem and spirituality?...

When I arrived to the US, and began my life away from my home and family I gained an unbelievable freedom to achieve anything life wanted to offer. I worked and pushed my self to learn the language, I studied and worked some more. It was my time to build and I didn't hesitate. I came to learn from Americans the drive and tenacity I always admired. Multitasking became my new nature, "busy" was now my new partner at play,  and my youth was my biggest asset to achieve it. It was just exhilarating to enter the fast lane, its was attractive! 

Our society is wide in offering a vast variety of choices in how to keep you productive so you will fit the frame of "accomplished". From work overtime to second and third job one can be considered thriving; but not to worry any free time in between is also under the care of this "thoughtful society". Here, you are offered hobbies and numerous activities to keep you up until exhaustion. You say yes! To every possible event, it is almost the hardest thing to say no anymore, you have to be everywhere and cannot miss it, there is only the "now" what matters. Don't take me wrong working hard is good, is a  quality one needs to build character and finding new  interests is healthy; but my main concern here is how it slowly invades all your time to the point to feel uneasy if you are simply unoccupied. It is that void you feel after work, after you are done with an activity and you end up saying... Now what? Is that need to fill that void busyness leaves you with. The thrill is over now what do I do with myself?

Apparently being exhausted is not the end of the rope, we seem to push for activities that  take us away from silence or... is it from ourselves?... Noise, and overload of images have taking over our restless minds and hearts. But could this restlessness be a sign that we deeply crave solitude? maybe we just don't know how to make it fruitful? We have lost the ability to rest, meditate and ponder.

I came upon this very subject not too long ago. My life at times feels "busy", I feel exhausted, I long for peace, I am getting tired of rushing.  But wait? rushing what? I am not longer in the world competing and proving myself I am at home with my loved ones, what am I rushing then?  life? kids? my home? Is it not home where you should find rest? then why I am allowing "busy" to poison the very heart of my happiness? Why I am exposing my kids unnecessarily to the tyranny of productivity?

Let me elaborate: Doing things can make you feel accomplished but overdoing things can burn your spirit in any area of your life. Exhaustion either buries you or allows you to see the right perspective. This time of exhaustion in my life gave me the right view of what is important, happiness and peace. All the works mean nothing if you feel burnt inside, neither homeschooling or  parenting can bear fruit under pressure. I have to learn to let life unfold on its own pace and present itself at its right time, I have to learn  to put my priorities in order.

Things such as, time to pray or just to think, can be an impossible space to accommodate. It is important, if not essential to allow time to just be, to enjoy, and ponder, it is important to regain silence. How can one hear God or think of God in the midst of chaos? introspective and time to yourself are more productive than any other activity, it bears real fruit, it secures ones soul, ones purpose. 

What happened to leisure? to stillness? to the peaceful moments of past generations? weren't they much fruitful? weren't they deeper, serene, paced and pleasant? I crave that! I guess at times specially in chaos, I crave solitude, I crave depth.   Solitude in motherhood is  essential  to find oneself again, to gain ground in the spirit, so one can offer the children what it is now attained. 

Busy homes are sign of life, but to enrich that life it is necessary to open space for reflection;  kids need it, so their souls can be open to receive and perceive. For that and more, I am encouraged to continue my search for balance, my search for authenticity, to reinvent myself to simplicity. I will stop wanting to be busy to fill the void, I will stop placing "busy" in the highest of my priorities, I will find my worth in "being" instead of "doing", I will learn to say "no" more often and find spaces of tranquility, I will give my soul a breath to release what is toxic, I will be open to solitude to give my soul a rest!