Catch me if you can... Evoking happiness!

On my previous post, catch me if you can I was reflecting about the importance of self-care in motherhood and promised to share with you some of the practices I have found most helpful in times of exhaustion and dysfunction. We all know how hard it is to try to balance time and space for ourselves in motherhood; it is almost impossible if not... a joke! but sometimes we just have to claim it! so, to begin, the first logical step is to make self-care a priority and open a slot in our daily life for it. It doesn't necessarily need to be a complicated activity but a time aside to detect what is that you need the most at that particular moment. 

I want to elaborate for you a conscious route of possibilities that with time will help you bring balance between "you" and "motherhood" so you can evoke happiness and thrive!

Self-care is such a foreign word in motherhood but the essential cornerstone to foster healthy habits for ourselves when evoking happiness. More than a to-do list to cope, self-care has to be a conscientious choice for wellness; although we each have particular needs there are two general aspects where to focus for a healthy body, mind and emotional stability. 

• Your physical and spiritual wellbeing.
• Your social network.

Physical and spiritual wellbeing

Physical: The biggest obstacle for me when I attempt to claim space to rest or just detached from my routine is the inability to say no! I like to enroll in everything and do everything on a very tight schedule. Without a doubt, this is the root of my physical exhaustion! so, after realizing it, I came to conclude that the perfect beginning to my physical wellness is to learn to say "No".

• No! to adding more activities, when I feel I am already exhausted.
• No! to wanting to do everything for everybody; instead be open for help and learn to delegate.
• No! to rushing into life. Pray for it HERE
• No! to glorifying busy... instead bask in simplicity! Read about this HERE 

No! is the first choice to outline our boundaries. No! requires humility first and foremost, because it brings to light all our limitations; so when you start feeling you are losing it, is just your body and mind's breakpoint begging for attention. Learn to say no! to prevent physical exhaustion.

Once we learn to say no to all that drains us, we are finally opening space for ourselves! and we come about to the second step in our physical wellness: Learn to listen to your body! Here, we can list several general problems we moms can relate to; tiredness, headaches, body aches, you name it! we go through them all.

To me, it all begins with sleep deprivation! Many will state this only applies to those with little kids, but it also happens when kids are sick or even when we just decide to enjoy ourselves after the kids go to bed, because it is the only time we have to watch a movie, to read or whatever. Nevertheless, we know the next day we will pay for it... full force! so what to do? how can we squish a little extra zzzz in our day? 

• First, for those with babies: we have to try to sleep when the baby sleeps, even if that calls to ask for family or friends to cover for us at least for a couple hours. It truly makes a difference! also, try to help your baby sleep better by giving him/her a lavender bath at night.
• When sickness strikes: is our mom's duty to care for our kids. It is very demanding but, never underestimate the role of prayer here! ask God for strength, he will provide. Also, reach out for help so you can catch up on zzzz!
• As much fun as it is to stay up late at night after the kids go to bed, we all know it will never be the same as it used to be back when we were young, because kids get up so early and mornings are plain ruthless, so if the idea is to achieve a little time for ourselves and also not to be behind sleep... the best solution is to send kids to bed early enough to give you time to enjoy at least an hour for leisure and also a rested night. (yes! here it takes work to implement this, but if you are consistent, routine will stick and you will achieve this slot at night just for you!)
• Take naps! Pop a movie for the kids and snooze a little bit. Make sure everyone is taking care of first and once the coast is clear... Dive into the most refreshing 5 minutes ever! Yes! In real life, it is all we can achieve until someone wants a snack, or cries, or fights. Don't let this let you down, claim those power naps once again!

All sounds great and all you may say, but once things work I just can't fall asleep! ha! I thought you may say that 😏 so I have some ideas here that have worked for me, I hope it helps:

• Take a warm bath before bed add lavender oil or salts, be sure to hydrate before and after.
• Drink tea! chamomile is my to go tea!
• unplug! yes, no phone! 
• Pray the rosary or just be in God's presence and give Him all the happenings of your day! unload your mind and heart to Him that can do all things so you can rest!
• Read a good book!
• Practice breathing techniques to relax your body 15 minutes before getting in bed. 
• Lastly, make sure your room is cool and dark so melatonin levels kick in!

There you go! Claim your sleep to give your body time to heal and replenish. Now let's move on to our next step.

Once your body rests, it needs nourishment; not just food but also vitamins and supplements. Here, take it one meal at the time, but above all make sure you are having breakfast, please! The first meal is essential to function throughout the day. We moms feed everyone but at the end, our porridge is always cold! However, there are ways to help get everyone back at the table simultaneously, including you! give them a try.

• Try to prepare breakfast ahead a time, either night before (bake in advance, cut fruit ready to serve, etc) or before kids get up!
• Come back to the table with the kids, this is important! you don't imagine how much this helps to bring order in family life, not just assures you to sit and eat but fosters manners and discipline. So bring back the table beauty, include the kids in the process! set it up and stick to it. Best conversations happen there!
• Use the crockpot, instapot or pressure cooker! this makes a tremendous difference. Having the main course ready saves so much time.

Eat slowly and enjoy every bite! do it on purpose, your body deserves it! hydrate as well, If you have diet goals, go for it! if you have medications or supplements make sure you take them religiously so you can heal. Also look into eating clean; once we become mothers we have the tendency to just fill our body instead of nourishing it. That is a mistake, giving birth takes away so much from our bodies, that is not enough to just feel satisfied, instead make a conscientious choice! read the labels, introduce organic foods, try to make things from scratch and dump the processed, one step at the time. Unfortunately, the food market is not offering quality but quantity, and remember we are making physical wellness a priority, so what enters your body matters and shows!

The third step would be... Exercise or an activity. Many of us with kids do not have time to commit to a sport, but if you do go for it! Our bodies need to be exercised and moving, choose any activity, simply start with walking, take the kids in the mornings or by yourself in the afternoons; whatever it works at the moment but take time to be out and about. I used to go out for bike rides in the afternoons with my oldest daughters, before being pregnant; it was such a great addition to my day, not only I felt light and energized but also it cleared my mind from stress and overthinking. We also do at times aerobics or stretching using YouTube videos, even dancing is one of our favorite workout activities, it gets you moving in the best mood! 

And our last step, pampering! Have you noticed your skin lately? Your nails? Your hair? They are normally ready for the day, but they can use a little pampering, extra attention. It is true that with kids is hard to go places and schedule for ourselves this services, but if you are able, do it! Treat yourself occasionally and let that, highlight your day! Go and get your hair done! Get a mani and a pedi! A facial maybe? Just a blow-dry? You deserve it, you still alive and beautiful! 

Now, what about all those days you just can't go to the hair salon? easy! Take time at home and DIY. I ask some nights hubby to cover for me while I do my nails or my hair. I don't need an occasion,  I do it because I want to, because I need it for me! I can also include my girls and make it fun! Of course! We can make homemade scrubs and face masks and do our spa at home. I mean, just take time to take care of you! Care for your body's health and appearance in a way that inspires your kids to just do the same! remember how you are their compass for self-acceptance and love.

Spiritual

Our spiritual state can be linked simultaneously with our emotional and mental wellness because they work intrinsically in what we call: "internal life" Therefore practices that allow time for solitude and encourage reflection are the best help to improve this area in our lives. Sometimes motherhood makes you feel isolated and even disconnected from yourself;  it is imperative therefore to nurture that missing connection between your inner voice and God's in order to fulfill a genuine stability. I have found so much balance in my motherly life whenever I am able to recollect my thoughts in solitude and gain a fresh perspective on things. Though solitude is the biggest factor to gain ground in the spiritual field,  silence seems to be the main feature that allows meaningful spiritual advances. It is not enough to have time alone if we spend it going through our phone or watching T.V. If we want to achieve internal peace and mental order amongst the chaos of our busy motherly lives, we must strive to enrich our souls and attain peace. 

To me, prayer is a crucial outlet for my soul. Here, at last, I am able to be in solitude and in silence! Time in the presence of God as mentioned before centers me and allows me to unload not only my mental clutter but my heavy emotional load.  As I write these lines I long for the time to be alone in prayer, because I need God daily at my side, accompanying me through it all, I need Him to guide me and to listen without judgment, I need His light to see where I can't and to heal where only He can operate in me.  I cannot stress enough how important it is to claim this space alone with God every day.

Absolutely!  you may agree, but how? I understand completely if you doubt it is possible, I have currently a baby, a toddler, and I homeschool 3 kids, but even under this scenario it is possible to do it, here a couple of ideas to make prayer viable in your day:

• Wake up earlier than the kids and use 15 minutes to pray or read the Scripture (This advice was given to me by a priest and has changed entirely the course of my days). Here make sure to place your plans in God's hands and ask for guidance for whatever is to come.
• Find quiet opportunities in chores to elevate a prayer, maybe praying a rosary while folding clothes? or just an Our Father/Hail Mary while doing dishes? keep God close as your day goes on!
• In the afternoon try to implement a quiet hour for you and the kids, where you can read, meditate or pray.
• Try as possible to go to the chapel at least one day a week. This time is ideal for you to get quality time alone and also to take advantage of the sacrament of reconciliation!
• Use your time outside in nature to lift a prayer or to stop and meditate.
• Take advantage of car rides! Here is where I do most of my thinking, prayers, and meditation believe it or not.
• And lastly, before going to bed, finish strong by reviewing your day and give to God all your worries and anxieties. Feel free to use these prayers: HERE and HERE.

Now that with meditation, solitude, silence, and prayer we overviewed our spiritual wellness, we should briefly explore practices that assure also our mental and emotional strength. 

Simple things such as reading, writing, listening to music or repeat positive affirmations can definitely uplift your spirit and contribute to your overall wellness:

• Reading a good book for sure contributes to the health of your mind, not only because it provides you alternatives and expands your way of thinking but also because it slows you down and refreshes you from the overload of images found online. Your mind nowadays clearly needs a break from the burden of technology! I personally try to read a little bit every night, I have the habit of reading two or three books at the time, to keep some variety at hand.
• Personally, writing has been an amazing gift; there are times when I am completely overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions and I cannot seem to find a healthy channel to let it all out, so I reached out and a friend suggested to write a journal, so I did! It has helped me immensely to express all my emotions, to visualize my worries and goals, to find inspiration, be creative and to draw new hopes but most importantly, it has helped me to be accountable to myself, here is when this blog came about and by far it has been my greatest journal exercise ever! 
• Listening to music to me, is such a powerful channel to express our emotions, is also a very successful way to let go of tension. Music has such an influential effect on our mood that it can almost be therapeutical. Call me crazy but I sing all the time and my repertoire varies depending on the emotion, I just belt it without prejudice and enjoy the adrenaline and freedom of being able to do it loudly😊 hahaha. I sing in the shower, in the car, when I am happy when I am frustrated and even when I am angry. Music brings me back to happier times. So, If I feel the need to cheer up, I just tune in my favorite songs and evoke that moment of happiness. Do it! Regardless if your kids think of it as overrated or boring; is part of who you are, enjoy and connect with yourself once again through music ♫♫♫... your music🎝🎝🎝!
• Positive affirmations or self-talk is a great way to build yourself up in difficult times. Words are powerful, but we forget and we are harsh on ourselves, we get stuck on the failures or mistakes and love to blame and label our actions. This kind of talk seems ok to us because we justify it behind discipline and righteousness, don't take me wrong accountability is good, but we all know what I am talking about here; at times we can be ruthless and crush our spirits with negativity and lack of compassion. So, learning to be kind to ourselves by the way we speak is a work of love, learning to speak words of light in times of darkness is a work of faith and learning to speak goodness at all times is a work of strength. Now, begin by enouncing short affirmations before your day begins, such as: "I am happy, healthy and filled with God's grace" fight your darkest moments with gratitude and hope instead of despair. Call me crazy again if you want, but I am hahaha 😊, I use the mirror, yes! I look myself in the eyes and speak these same words; is my way to get serious and concentrate. Is my way to connect and find "me" again. Talking to myself is important, not crazy, important! The first relationship I should cultivate is my own. I need to have my own back when the world seems to fall apart; if not me, then who will? We have the tendency to rely on others for moral support, but if they cannot fulfill the gap, I must be there for me, knowing that I am valuable and loved. I must remind myself these truths often assured that all the tools I need for every important change, reside within!
• Lastly, enjoy as much as you can the outdoors, being in contact with nature for sure lightens up the mental and emotional load we may carry. The park, the beach, the river, the mountains are wide enough, simple enough to let go of our burdens, sometimes all it takes is a deep breath to rediscover equilibrium and a fresh approach. 

Social Network

Our social network is simply the people with whom we decide to share the ups and downs of our lives. The friends, the family members, and even the acquaintances that in a way help us mantain a grownup status and refresh our days with pleasant memories and support. This last aspect of self-care is such a powerful supplement for wellness because it keeps us as individuals and it preserves our identities outside motherhood.

Mothers have a hard time keeping up with social life for themselves, we strive hard on giving our kids one, but we leave behind and almost hide the fact that we can also enjoy the company and friendship of grownups. Our days are dedicated solely to the lives of our kids, and it seems at times that all the activities and celebrations revolve mostly around them. Hence let's make sure we have a network and a support system that celebrates us for who we are, with whom we can talk and laugh, go out and enjoy as well as to share hobbies and activities to keep us feeling adequate and inspired.

Motherhood can make you feel isolated, but it doesn't have to be that way. Is up to you to evoke your own happiness, so do not let these feelings take over your life; instead, take action and work hard in cherishing friendships that help you celebrate who you are, that can take you away from reality for an instant to brighten your day and that accepts you just as you are. They are the emotional fuel we so much need. 

Now that end of the year draws near, let us take to heart this resolution: "I'll take care of myself first before taking care of others because I want to evoke happiness for me and my whole family". 

Happy New year friends!

Thanks for reading 

catch me if you can!

Here goes another post about motherhood... Or... maybe not?  well... I wanted to start writing about homeschooling and homemaking but right now, recovery is very important, so all my material and meditations have been concentrated mostly in motherhood and why not... me!

This couple of weeks have been very challenging for me, not just because I am trying to heal while I juggle between my new routine with the baby, the toddler and my homeschool children, but because I cannot seem to find time to just be! 

Life as a mother feels at times if not always as an episode of a script out of "catch me if you can" series! so much going on, so many to serve, so little time, so much to do! But, where on that list says "me"? I feel like I am catching up with everyone but ... will I ever catch "me"? Will I ever find "me" in the midst? It seems that I am always in "mother" mode, so...  Does this means then, that being a "mother" replaces my "self" identity?  Am I one or the other? Both? Neither? Do I care and nurture one more than the other? Is there a middle? hmm... let's pause and talk about this for a minute. Shall we?

Once upon a time when we were younger, we knew who we were, what we liked, what made us happy, where we were heading, we had it figure it out; we even knew motherhood was where life was calling us to go, but just when we had those babies, all our plans went undone, Yes! Beautifully undone! We left our expectations and projects behind and enrolled full time in that long life lesson of being a "mother". We have learned thanks to motherhood to serve others more than ourselves, which is great! but suddenly, we began to feel burnt, exhausted, almost desolated and confused. Then, what seems to be the problem? What could be so dysfunctional, that is draining the joy of just being "me"? Maybe ...  (I am just thinking out loud here) we have immersed in our kid's lives so much ... that we forgot to tend our own. Yes! it is possible, it happens! We do this! at times, we think way too much about them to the point of leaving us behind. 

I am not only speaking here for myself, I have been thinking about this subject lately, after reading many posts online of mothers struggling to get time for themselves, moms needing a break, moms exhausted in their journey, that are running low in self-esteem, and forgot to be happy, forgot who they were or what made them special and unique, many of them have lost ability in the skills once they were passioned it about. They got caught in disciplining the children, in classes and rehearsals, in competing and cheering in rushing to care, console and heal, they got tangled in the stress of it all, in worry and routine, and now... they wish upon a breath.

Here, It does not really matter how many kids you have or if you stay home or not, we are all givers and we love our children, but we are overcommitted and we are taking too much control of things forgetting that our kids also need to be left to earn the benefits and experiences of life, and sadly we are paying the price of that devotion, sometimes with our very health (physical and mental) and self-worth, if we do not learn to balance those two identities: "mother" and "self". 

Learning to identify who we are after experiencing motherhood is essential to seek balance, many things you are as a mother not necessarily align with who you are or are capable of doing, so, "Who am I?" is the most important question we have to ask ourselves in order to put together this gap in motherhood, this void of identity we sometimes go through. To begin, this question intends by no means a war between motherhood and "self" but rather a wider view where "self" can see motherhood as a fulfillment where to grow and love. In this light, I can say that first I am an individual, a woman whose path was to walk in the shoes of motherhood to enrich who she is! You see? eventually, kids will leave the home and we will be again on our own trying to cope with who we were at the very beginning, and if we don't catch up on who we are... then... we will crash! we will roll down the deep. Therefore, to acknowledge our gifts, our flaws, and strengths, our dreams and aspirations,  as well as tending to our physical and spiritual  needs is a way to catch up on "self"  and a very solid base from where we can fly confident and offer others all that we have to share so generously.

Since we cannot offer anything out of an empty vessel and we cannot bloom if we are dry, we have to fill our "self" vessel often in order to nurture others. We have to first take care of our own healing, our own happiness. Caring for "self" is a serious responsibility and a priority as well as caring for the wellbeing of our families. 

Many feel guilty about this and think of it as selfishness, caprice, and even vanity; but I am not suggesting here the embellishing of one and the neglecting of the other, what I am suggesting is that both, "self" and "mother" need to be replenished in their own particular way, but at times we are deliberately  and almost dangerously neglecting ourselves to strive in motherhood. Now the question is this: Is it worth it? Is it working? Clearly no. Our kids are getting at times the leftovers if not the worst of us. Our kids naturally mirror from us the basic skills of self-love and self-esteem, so for the sake of both, let's take a deeper look at how balanced our lives are at this pretty moment. 

Having the chance to reflect on this subject a little deeper has given me room to explore healthy and loving alternatives to catch up on "me"...  if you can! 😊so, I will continue this subject in a related post, where I will share a set of practices I have implemented in my life to redeem myself in times of dysfunction and neglect, because what better gift can you give your loved ones, than a happy and healthy you? nothing! 

Nevertheless, bloom for the sake of blooming. grow for the sake of living your own set of gifts. Start loving "you" to better love others, start forgiving "you", so you can forgive others; mainly, free yourself to be who you are, and never ever feel guilty or tired of doing so,  because God gave you life so you can live it to plenitude!

I really hope many of you have found this reflection interesting because there are so many of us mothers unconsciously yearning for balance and searching for some kind of validation! 

Thanks for reading! make sure to follow up my upcoming post...

He is finally here!

Our "little cub" finally arrived a couple of weeks ago! 

Many of you already following us on Facebook, have seen the updates of his arrival, but just until now, I get the chance to post it on the blog for everyone to see.  

 welcome to our family! "little cub" 

Remember how in my latest post we were just getting ready? yes! it happened so fast, he came little after 36 weeks and thanks to a great weight, vitals and to your prayers: "little cub" skipped the NICU! We are so grateful! This time around, we were able to enjoy our baby right after surgery and bring him home shortly afterwards, to his new family of 7!

He has been such a joy to our family, his sweet presence has brought so much love and hope to all of us. I am still recovering and feeling very blessed with the outpour of loving help from our family and friends. Once again we have been called to receive. We are living day by day as a gift and let it unfold with all the joys, sometimes pains or sometimes with just beautiful surprises. We are learning from those around us to serve other families and support each other. To all our friends: thanks for your beautiful hearts, thanks for helping us welcome our baby, for supporting our growing family without judgment and for going the extra mile to make it much more bearable. From meals to babysitting; every call, every text, prayer, and thought is deeply appreciated. One day will be our turn to give back a hundredfold all the generosity we have received.  We have been truly blessed to have you!

So how is everyone doing with the latest addition? you may wonder? as expected... great! the three oldest are all over the moon helping and having turns holding him to give me a "break" 😉 while lollipop still tries to figure it all out. She loves him and is extremely curious about how little his hands and feet are. She gets very worried if he cries but she is still so little that sharing attention is a work in progress. Dad is proud as can be, he is enjoying the feeling of being home with all of his family. I have been witnessing and pondering every detail with my new baby and finding my way to tend everyone and enjoy this moment with each one of them. 

Agent 007 holds little cub

Popsicle's turn!

Miss Poppins holds him tight!

Lollipop gets to hold little cub!

But after the joy... comes postpartum and all the adjusting and the recovering; let's say it always hits me hard right after surgery and the first days at home. Friends, I want to be completely honest here; I have always been afraid of the postpartum hormonal crash because it normally spikes anxiety and my fears get raw. Nevertheless, I must say, it has been the first time I have ever experienced depression per say. Lots of crying, irrational fear, and high sensibility... ehhh the joys of motherhood!  

I am able to identify these symptoms now, and I am conscious that they are just feelings and that it will come to pass, also I am being very vocal about my needs as well as being open to receive help. It is not easy to be slowed down with all that goes on in our family, but I am letting go the urge of accomplishment and I am focusing on celebrating little victories and milestones. While I endure my downs either physical or emotional of postpartum I am learning to call God while in darkness, I am inviting Him to illuminate all those places that can very easily cloud the happiness of my newest gift. I feel confident that this vulnerability is transitory and it has a purpose,  so I am living it by focusing on the miracle of life and the gift of my motherhood.

As the days continue to go by fast, and holidays and school rushes through, I am ready to savor and be grateful for all; this is anyways the human experience we call "life" and cannot be complete without the pains and joys, the challenges and victories. A new chapter has begun for our family, I am unsure how is going to be, I am unsure if I will be able to do this, or if I have what it takes, all I know is that I have accepted this beautiful gift and that as always I hang tight in hope. We have been blessed for sure, he is tiny, helpless, sweet and so tender to even doubt! As my days unfold simply in this truth now, I want to leave you with the quote that has inspired me and that will be featured in the quote of the week. Take it to heart and with me rediscover each day as I do with my newborn baby. 

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.

 Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.

Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow"

Mary Jean Irion

Welcome to our lives little cub, we love you immensely 💙

Opening space for the littlest one!

Once again I am on bed rest... after all the crazy days behind and all the catching up and cleaning after the hurricane, I think I overdid it! I went into early labor, but fortunately, it was stopped. I have been able to hold on a bit more to ensure the baby comes safe and in more appropriate time. I am still couple weeks away to meet my dateline, so here I am resting, preparing, and opening space for our littlest blessing as best as I can.   

Opening space for this little one is a work of love and patience, you may think that after having 4 already I have it all figure it out... maybe in the general preparations, I have learned a few tips here and there, but to be honest, each birth has its own set of adjustments for the entire family. Adjustments not only related to the physical space in the home and time but also in everyone's heart. 

Having a large family anymore is seeing and harshly judged by outsiders as irresponsible and careless, is looked down to a burden and merely recognized as a gift. But I can assure you it is completely the opposite. Fear to open space is without a doubt the main factor of this kind of thinking, I know, I have been there too. I have to admit that being open to life and a large family is risky and a bit controversial, but very inside of me, there is a rebel that loves to swim against the current just to prove it wrong!  

My large family is far from being an irresponsible choice, I think nowadays is important not to live alone, and foster values like generosity and self-donation to a society that craves warmth and depth. Also as we grow so does our consciousness in managing the resources for every member, we stretch and adjust to a simple living filled more with values than things. Each of us is growing mindful of the other's needs, we are expanding our circle of compassion and learning to serve one another. We are aware once more to donate ourselves and to receive not a burden but a beautiful gift. 

Welcoming another baby for sure is a big stretch for a mom's heart,  I have to use prayer, it is the only way to become conscious of everyone's needs above my own, but not to worry! mom's heart is made to stretch that far and more! 5 kids and a husband far! My kids all need time and one on one moments. But how to get them all? well... I stumble miserably on this daily. It is hard. I run wild between my own hormonal craze, a toddler, pre-teen, a hyper boy and a quiet little girl hard to read. Now you may say whoa! that is a lot of psychology behind, what a drag! yes! It can be... but it is not so much when you love! It takes you places for sure, but it always centers you to give. 

So what are those needs my bunch asks of me? Well to begin, Reassurance: it doesn't matter if I assume my oldest girls already know I love them because they have been there already couple of times, or my boy seems to agree that it's going to be OK, they need to hear clear and individually that they are cherished and that even though they are older they still melt their parent's heart with a kiss or a long hug. I have noticed they are trying to keep up with the pace of it all, but they seem at times distant, like thinking distant, here is when I know I have to talk to them and search their hearts. Dialogue is essential in any relationship and hearing from mom and dad that they still hold their spot in our hearts is all they need even if they don't say it out loud. 

Recognition: everyone in this household has been working hard in serving each other, during this time; we, the parents provide and serve as our duty to our family... but also have the kids! I cannot express how much help they are to me when dad is not around,  from chores to make sure I keep my medications in check to endure my emotional ups and downs. Thanks to the advice of a dear friend we began our own "wall of fame" to recognize and celebrate everyone's effort. I wish I had thought of it sooner, it is a great initiative to ensure the kids we don't take them for granted!

Thanks to dialogue, I have discovered that unconsciously as things get busy with homeschool and chores I have lost love language: sadly yes, my oldest 3 and I at times only speak school, chores, faith or life, but I forget to show them affection as a result of routine and exhaustion😢and it breaks my heart to see it now. So this time before the baby arrives we need lots of cuddling, hugs, and kisses; small things like braiding each other's hair or cuddling during a read out loud can show closeness. It is amazing to see all our worries and tension go away with just this little token of affection. 

As the time gets closer I cannot help but notice, how they all want attention all in different ways but attention after all. Girls want to be heard, my boy wants to be part of something together and the toddler seems to sense the change as well so as you can imagine she displays even more demand! Here you may hear a prayer in the background... yes! I don't know at times how to divide and assertively give each one what they need. My plan? take it day by day and one thing at the time! I don't have to take care of everyone at once. Some days the girls seem to crave the attention, so I dedicate part of my time to them and listen to their stories or letting chat their hearts outs before bed on our one on one. Other times is my boy that wants to be noticed and I have to make a priority his space and build together something or shoot targets from the sofa with nerf guns just to validate his coolness! Obviously, every day the baby is in the spotlight with her new milestones, so she is the easiest to read, no one can resist her cuteness! 

By now I stretched at full capacity my attention for the kids, now remains... dad and why not... me! what are our needs? To begin I must say we share the same needs as the kids, we need to be validated, recognized, loved and cared for. My husband and I notice the rollercoaster ride and try to keep close, with little things such as a text or call in the morning, a special breakfast or dinner, we hold hands and cuddle; we need to foster the love and admiration for each other in order to give that to our children.  We are without a doubt their example and guide in how to handle life as it comes, so is imperative to be filled with graciousness and thoughtfulness in order to enrich the atmosphere of our home above any external pressure.

And because one cannot pour life or love into another when our own cup is empty, I need to concentrate on my own wellbeing first and foremost in order to be emotionally available for all of them. I have to say that my number one priority for sure is to take time to reflect and pray so I can collect all my emotions and thoughts and put them in perspective to later offer love, serenity, and understanding to my family. As well, time for self-care is very important so I can feel my best and bring them joy and enthusiasm. Lastly, I need time to feel and talk to my baby in the womb, to prepare and transmit all the love and hope we have for him.

It has been crucial to open these opportunities for each one of us; as I mentioned before, is a work in the midst of chaos, is a work of radical love and patience, is a donation of our time will and heart for each other. We discovered how love can be found in the little and the big, how creative and persistent we need to be, in order to accept wholeheartedly this beautiful gift of being a family. 

Now that everyone's cup is taking care of and the space in our hearts is wide open with joy and hope for his arrival, we must get to the practical preparations! crib ready, clothes laid out, supplies and plan in place for how we are going to manage hospital days and life at home after the arrival. In this final step, I have already the help of many friends and family ready to step in for us all. They have come up with precooked meals and offered help and assistance while I endure bedrest. Now, more than ever I see fit the common saying "it takes a village" it really does! we could not do this alone, God is providing He always does, either with people or circumstances, He is making sure, we know He is there on every face, on every occasion, on every prayer is been lifted, as long as we let Him in, He will not forsake. So please spare a prayer for us, as we are very close! thanks for following our journey!

Our little boy is ready to join our family any minute now and we are very excited to welcome him! We are about to be a family of 7! 

Hurricane Irma... 3 lessons 3 gifts!

Dear readers and friends, I am back at writing! Not sure where to even begin...
Sorry, it has taken this long to get back, but much has happened... 

I wish I had more uplifting and practical material for you, but this time I have to share difficult memories and reflections during this time of anguish and confusion...

A couple of weeks ago Florida was under the imminent hit of the most powerful hurricane ever seen. The news were trying to keep up with the phenomenon and even science was left uncertain of its path... At home we began preparations and took things very seriously; we have been through "Charlie" back in 2004 and know that hurricanes could rapidly escalate. At first, probability models were giving us a bit of hope that it may turn East towards the Atlantic, but as the days went by things were looking bad for the area I live. We stock up on food, supplies, put up the shutters and made sure we had a  suitcase ready in case of an evacuation due to flooding. We were not ready to leave like many did because we really were concerned about my husband's  job and my advanced pregnancy state. The news were devastating in the Caribbean and to the contrary of the predictions, touching land was not decreasing its size and power; worst of all, it was now coming straight to us. The forecast showed sadly that it was our turn to experience "Irma's eye" right over our city. 

That night I prayed incessantly, I was filled with fear for my kids and my baby not yet born, I begged God to calm the winds and the waters as He did in The Sea of Galilee. I entrusted myself to His providence and asked for guidance on what to do. You have no idea the anguish that filled my soul with the thought of the aftermath, I think I have never been so terrified yet so sure of God's power, I entrusted completely our family to His Divine Mercy. 

Next morning approached and I woke up unlikely early with so much anxiety in see how things developed overnight. I hoped for a miracle that could deliver us from a catastrophic hurricane. But the news were worst than I ever hoped; "Irma" had doubled its size and remained a high category 4 almost 5 hurricane, the possibility of flooding and surge was now at the catastrophic level ... 
Here my life stopped for a minute and horror filled every inch of my body. I begged my husband to leave, he was not that concerned before, but with the latest turn of events, it took him by surprise and almost disbelieve to acknowledge the imminent threat. He decided to agree with me and we began to pack like crazy. Kids were sleeping and we had to act fast, we had only one day, roads were packed and gas was not a guarantee. We called our family and told them our decision, it was crazy late but at the same time at the edge of being possible, we hoped we could all go, but instead, they had to stay, not easy stuff to process in such a short time, but we had to make sure the kids were safe first and foremost ...

Surviving... All comes down to this! 
Did you ever imagine having your life turned upside down all of the sudden the way we had and think of surviving? crazy!   It surely took us by surprise, no one is ever ready for something like this ... We have it all planned out! right? but what about normal? here is where life gets real my friends, and all our fantasy world of planning and routine and silly structures takes a turn to important matters. Life can change in a matter of seconds and not at all lined to our plans. Take a brief moment to meditate on what this means and calls for our attention: we have to learn to live life as it comes not as we think it should be, do we even have control of anything anyways? We live by faith, every step of the way, this lesson of acceptance and humility and surrender of our own will is not to take lightly. What we have learned, changed deeply the way we have been handling life, once again try to think with me at that moment... all becomes simple: just take with you your loved ones and essentials, leave everything behind and if you have the chance to leave do it at once without hesitation but trustful surrender... 

That was my real moment, friends!

Our family and our parents supported us more than we can ever imagine, their sacrificial love was the biggest treasure and love lesson I ever witness before, those seconds of fast thinking and clarity in the midst of chaos reveal of a person what it truly  is in their hearts and where their treasure lays.. friends I cannot stress enough the pondering all these left me... 

Once on the road, just getting out of Florida as fast as possible, was the main focus, the size of Irma was massive and covered the entire state so there was no time to stop. We had no idea where to head more than North so I used social media to get resources that could help us maneuver roads and gas. Here is where the love began to pour: yes! friends and family even strangers, beautiful strangers heard us and became involved, active. They began to pray, to guide, to offer their help abundantly!

With this preamble of what Irma meant even before it passed by, I came to meditate the 3 lessons and 3 gifts we were given during this time. 

I can say the First lesson I learned was to "let go and let God" all the way ... yes! letting go of control is a struggle in the normal basis for me, but this time I had no choice but to let go fear. Fear of our family members being trapped or hurt, fear of powerlessness for the suffering many will endure, fear of going into labor, fear of the unknown situation after coming back, fear of fear... Irma took us all for a ride ... an uncertain ride, all we could do, was to let life unfold the way was already heading, whatever God had in store for us was His will and we had to accept it.

The second lesson was to "Pray like if all depends on God and work like it all depends on you" we did everything we had to do to secure our home and prepare for the aftermath, and last minute we put all our might in keeping  safe our family, but we were powerless against Irma and that was a fact, then we did what our hearts needed the most... Pray! desperately we needed to drop our load onto stronger shoulders, we needed to depend completely on the One everything belongs to, we had to ask for an extraordinary help, we had to plea for mercy upon many, we had to extend our circle of compassion and pray for every soul that was about to be affected by this. Only God could be entrusted with this! We were completely in His hands. 

The third lesson I must say was to "never underestimate the power of prayer".  As soon as trust is in place, suddenly a breeze of peace takes over. I was amazed at the outpour of prayers and honest concern from our loved ones and friends; it is powerful and plain beautiful. You come to understand unity in a new light, like a force of goodness, prayer for one another lifts you up from despair to hope.

With this last lesson, we received the first gift: Mercy. As I mentioned it before Irma entered Florida as a strong category 4 hurricane and advanced throughout unlike any other. Scary enough to suck up the waters off the shore and with an impressive pressure that was detected even by earthquake's sensors. It surely hit badly they keys and brought an unbelievable amount of water. But as it came closer to our city it decreased in power and was reduced to category 3. Glory be to God! we expected the worst. Many may say it was luck, it was just a consequence of landing, but I am completely sure it was prayer that made this possible! We were granted mercy! Nevertheless, the damage was large and complex, but again it could it be way worst.

The second gift was without a doubt: Family.  Our family members were our biggest treasure, we rediscovered in a deep sense the feel of it. Family took us out of the storm, family sheltered us from the storm and family strengthened us after the storm. Their generous hearts, their honest concern, their loving welcome cannot be forgotten. God was with us in each one of them. Our hearts were humbled, open to receive and grateful beyond measure. God bless you all, we love you!

And lastly the third gift was a renewed desire to live: Cannot lie, there was much anxiety, darkness, and hopelessness during all this, maybe my pregnant self-was a bit more sensitive to all this than the average person. But I can assure you that my mind raced with questions: why a baby? why now? why like this? I thought of pain and suffering to the extent of despair, yes! I was weak and a coward. My faith trembled, but at the same time I looked for Him more than ever and surrender to whatever He decided to do with me and my family. Our Lord was faithful when I was weak, and He provided more than I could ever hope for us. His gift of life is that everlasting promise of unconditional love. This baby has a purpose and each one of my kids, at this pretty moment and under this circumstances, all this is His will at work.  

Coming back was the other part of this experience. Main roads were closed and power and water were not fully restored. We were just half way from facing all these chaos. We made it back through alternate roads and were prepared with gas and supplies from up North. Luckily we came after much was already done. I was admired and devastated to see the damage and the recovery simultaneously. I longed to get home, but I knew we had -along with the rest of Floridians- to deal with the lack of power at our house. With kids and in my state I knew, it was going to be a challenge, but I also knew that workers were doing above and beyond to reestablish us all back to normality.


We endured only two days of this, it wasn't easy but we were grateful to find a home and all our stuff intact, we also had water and our neighbor offered to share his generator to power some fans to help us through the night. It was not ideal, but let's be real we had more than others and we were grateful. It is easy to fall in desperation, but we are blessed to be in a country where things get restored one way or the other. It is inspiring to see everyone providing, comforting others and donating themselves: from first responders, power line workers, grocery store staff, to neighbors. 

We are now back to "normal" and exhausted from this journey, but with a load of meditations lessons and gifts, no other experience could provide. Some are vulnerable, others feel strong, others uncertain, others assured, but I can say we are all changed by these interior storms. We have shared suffering and hope. We have been granted the chance to rebuild, to be grateful and to be mindful.

If you are reading this and do not live in a disaster area, take the time to ponder all these things in your heart and expand prayers and acts of thoughtfulness towards those who lost much, but above all use your blessings to be hope! go ahead hug your loved ones tight, rediscover their eyes and thank God for His will in your life. 

Thanks for reading
Blessings
Liz